what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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