my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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