i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Still dying that you shit outside
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
