Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I just gargled with NyQuil
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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