I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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