Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize