i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Randomize