i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
