I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
