Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
