I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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