He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
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I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
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I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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