mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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