is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
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cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
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