Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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