lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
