he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
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Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
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Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
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