please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
