We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Never underestimate the power of titties
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
