I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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