Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
