The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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