she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
