Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
