I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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