We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Randomize
