people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
