found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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