so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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