ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
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Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
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Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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