DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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