I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
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