i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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