I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
