I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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