I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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