He kissed a someone with a penis
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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