420 ftw
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
