Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
