I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
