So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
