hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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