We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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