I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
