I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize