nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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