i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
