you win again, gameday.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
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