And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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