I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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