How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
