You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Randomize
