Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
