trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
