Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
