I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
