i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
