Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
My bed smells like the plague
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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