gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize