This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
