he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
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Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
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So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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