community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
