Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
