After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
